Archives for The Chosen Geek

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter 8

You can view the previous chapter here.

“Your regalness! I can’t possibly go to the dungeon.”

“I think you’ll find that, in fact, you very much can.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I have promised to show this girl what will become of her tooth. I can’t possibly leave such a pledge unfulfilled.”

“I have two problems with that. First, more than one person has made a solemn pledge to be somewhere or do something and then found themselves unable to fulfill that pledge due to being incarcerated. I doubt you’d even be the first such person this week. The second problem I have is that, as you very well know you had no business making such a promise. Marvin, take him away.”

Pleeeeeeeeeease!” The little girl hits octaves Marvin’s dental drill would have trouble with. The emperor stares at her in a mixture of horror and pity. “He promised to show me.”

The emperor closes his eyes and lets out a sigh like a steam engine coming to a stop. “You have twenty minutes – and no manipulation of the timeline. Show her what she needs to see, and then get back here to receive the punishment you know perfectly well that you deserve.”

“Thank you, your grace, your immensity, your awesome and revered . . .”

“Nineteen minutes and thirty seconds.”

What do you choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Monday because I’ll be updating the poll on Tuesday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Friday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy — Chapter Seven

Voting is extended to Saturday due to a tie in the poll.

 

You can view the previous chapter here.

“Your regal and imperial majesty! Your benevolent and beloved monarch! Ye whom the sun will not dare to set afore such time as you would wish it.”

“I sense that you want something from me.” The emperor looks down on you casually.

“I implore you to demonstrate that legendary trait you are so known for the length and breadth of the land!”

“My stamp collection?”

“Your mercy, my sovereign liege. This sweet and innocent peasant girl . . .”

She chimes in. “I’m not a peasant. Mommy says I’m a princess.”

“Quiet!” you say out of the corner of your mouth before returning your address to the emperor. “This girl wished only to bask for a moment in your regal glory. Surely you can show her some understanding when you have such empathy in abundance.”

“Oh, I understand the urge quite well, but you see, it’s not allowed.”

“Yes, but, exalted one, she had no way to know that.”

He considers. “No, I suppose she did not.” He narrows his eyes at you. “But you certainly did.”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the point.”

“Are you sure? It does seem to be the point.” He looks behind you to his guards who have entered the room. “Change of plans, Marvin. Send one of your men to fetch me someone to look after this little princess until she may be taken back to her home. As for my loyal collection agent here, take him to the dungeon and maybe beat him about the head and shoulders for a while if you’re so inclined.”

“For how long, my lord?”

“The beating? Oh, as long as you feel like it. But if you meant how long in the dungeon . . .” He looks up to the sky, calculating. “Let us say until such time as we have all the baby teeth from this girl’s great-great-great-great grandchildren.”

Well, that didn’t go as planned. You need a way out and fast.

What do you choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Monday because I’ll be updating the poll on Tuesday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Friday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy — Chapter Six

You can view the previous chapter here.

“Where are we?”

“This is the palace of his royal imperial majesty, lord of all the lands from the Toothpaste Lake to the Dentin Mines, sovereign of all he beholds, and supreme ruler of the Tooth Fairy council, Throckmorton Olivier Oglethorpe Thaddeus Haverford the 32nd, the Enamel Emperor.”

You ought to have gotten that right, they drilled it into you since the age of three hours.

“Is he like a king or something?”

You wince. “Emperor, please. I understand he’s a bit touchy about the difference.”

“What is the difference?”

“No idea.”

She stares at the shining walls all around her. “Do I get to meet him?”

You sigh. You were going to get found out anyway. “Yes. Yes, I suppose you must. Look, it’s very rude to deny an emperor anything, so will you please just give your tooth to him? I promise I will still show you what happens to the teeth if it’s still within my power to do so.”

She looks at the tooth in her hand. “Okay.”

“Good. He might let us live that way.”

“What?”

“Come on!” You are not particularly familiar with the palace, but finding the Emperor is easy. You just go to the closest part of the palace that you’ve never been allowed to go to before.

“WHO GOES THERE?”

“WHAT?”

“I SAY WHO GOES THERE?!”

“OH, TURN OFF THE DRILL, MARVIN, WILL YOU?”

You understand why the Emperor’s guards use dental drills. What could instill more fear in their opponents? But it does make it difficult to have a conversation.

“Oh, it’s you.” Marvin comes to play Bridge at your house once a month. “What’s with the giant?”

“This little girl would like to present her tooth directly to the Emperor.”

Marvin gives you a skeptical look. “You messed this one up pretty bad, and you’re trying to put a good face on it, ain’t you?”

“Well needs must.”

He shakes his head. “Well, lucky for you, his Imperial Majesty is not engaged in any important state business like a nap. He’ll see you.”

The Emperor sits on a throne putting him just about at eye level with the girl. Slowly, making sure to stop for frequent bowing and grovelling, you make your way to him.

“What, precisely, is going on?”

“I am Field Agent Number 24601. This young lady wishes to present you with her recently lost baby tooth herself. I could not deny her such a sweet request.”

“Here you go, your highness.” She very nearly shoves the tooth in his face.

“She means Imperial Majesty!” It comes out as a squeak.

The Emperor takes the tooth from her. “Very nice,” he says, examining it. “You take excellent care of your teeth.”

The little girl smiles, showing the missing one off to full effect.

“Now rip out the rest of her teeth and throw her in the dungeon for her sheer audacity.” The Emperor casually waves you away.

What do you choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Monday because I’ll be updating the poll on Tuesday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Friday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter Five

You can view the previous chapter here.

“Oh, dear. We should perhaps . . .”

“They’re so teeny!”

“Yes, well, proportionally, those spears are rather large on them, and they certainly can kill me, if not you. We should go!”

You used a lot of energy to get here, but no time to be subtle. You’ve got to get her away and quickly. You can skip a few dimensions and go straight to number eleven.

“This might be less pleasant than the last trip.”

And then you fold yourself inside out and turn your blood into soda pop.

“That was ickier than last time.” The girl holds her nose, as though she still smells the eighth dimension, which is possible.

“Shh.” You insist. The trouble with anything above the ninth dimension is that it’s nearly impossible to get anywhere accurately. You were hoping to to get to the wall of great city, but you could be several kilometers away, or even . . .

In the palace of the Enamel Emperor.

“Oh, bother.”

What do you Choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Tuesday because I’ll be updating the poll on Wedmesday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Friday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter Four

You can view the previous chapter here.

“Ah, well, you see, I could of course show you what is done with the other teeth, but it’s really quite alarmingly dangerous and there are . . .”

“Show me.”

“Well, yes. I mean, no, I don’t think that’s . . .” You can tell when you’re beaten. “All right. Yes. There is one more place I suppose I could show you, but I really must insist that we be very careful on the way there. I’ll need to borrow your shadow for a minute, if you please.”

“My shadow?”

“Look, you’re quite a bit bigger than me obviously. I need an energy source to take us where we’re going and you’ve got that great big shadow. Oh, never mind, just hold on a moment.”

You certainly don’t have time to explain such highly scientific principles to a six year old. You take her shadow and stuff it into a pocket of gossamer and moonlight. The anti-light in the shadow forms a vortex in the light, and you use the momentum of that churning to power a very simple tesseract. Truly you only need to move a few feet in distance, but it does go through about nine different planes of existence.

She squeals in delight. Well, why not? You always considered yourself a craftsman, and what’s the point of travel if it doesn’t leave one feeling giddy with delight afterwards?

You arrive on the Plateau of Periodontists. No idea how it got that name. “Big wide desert with not much to look at” probably didn’t look good to the emperor when he made the maps.

“Very well, now from here on, we must proceed –“

“THAT WAS SO COOL!!”

“– in the utmost silence.”

From behind the dunes of the white sand (well, someone has to collect the pieces of chipped teeth lying all around macadam playgrounds and such) a dust cloud forms. The Molar Militia has heard her and they will be upon you in seconds.

What do you choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Saturday because I’ll be updating the poll on Sunday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Wednesday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.