The choice is yours!

Bringing the Choose Your Own Adventure format into the digital age. And books. I'm shamelessly plugging the books I've written.

Writing is the art of painting yourself into a corner and then pointing to a trapeze that wasn't there a moment ago.

Your Chosen Geek
Published works
Published works

The stories on this page are free, but if you'd actually like to purchase some other things I've written, well don't let me stop you.

When we last left our hero
When we last left our hero

If you're not caught up with the story, click on the box above. If you are, what are you waiting for? Keep scrolling down.

Seat Of Our Pants Audio
Seat Of Our Pants Audio

Radio dramas from my own theatre company, the Seat Of Our Pants Players.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter Three

You can view the previous chapter here.

“What you’re looking at is the Gryphohydranargon.”

She giggles. That’s less than promising. You probably shouldn’t have tried to give a name to one of the Unnamables, but in your head it sounded scarier.

“Part Gryphon, part Hydra, part Narwhal, and part Gorgon. She was born with seven thousand teeth. We had to make so many trips to collect her baby teeth that we finally brought her here. This was the only water we had because . . . well tooth fairy.”

“Does she miss her Mommy?”

You’re stunned into silence. You’ve never thought of that.

“No idea. The point is, thousands of teeth. Look at them. TAnd over the years we’ve given her more and more teeth and she’s absorbed them. Almost one of every three teeth we get, The inside of her mouth is so sharp she can bite her way through the fabric of reality and come into your room at night.”

“There’s no water in my room.”

“Um. . . Well, no, I suppose there wouldn’t be.”

“And even if she came, I could just give her some gum to chew on.”

“Gum. She must love to chew, so I’d give her some gum.” She goes so far as to pull a piece from the pocket of her pajamas and toss it to the Unnameable. One of the seven heads snaps it up and begins chewing. You hear the creature  . . . purring.

“So what do you do with the other teeth?”

What do you Choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Saturday because I’ll be updating the poll on Sunday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Wednesday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter 2

You can view the previous chapter here.

“All right. I can’t tell you what we do with the teeth, but I could, maybe . . . show you?”

The last comes out as a squeak. You watch the little girl’s eyes widen and you brace yourself for her response.

“Cool! Are we going to fly?”

To get to where you’re going, you’ll need to turn time inside out, then poke a hole through that with the power of rainbows, positive thinking, and a thorough understanding of special relativity.

“Yes. We’re going to fly. But you have to promise me that when I show you, I can have the tooth.”

She nods enthusiastically, and loosens her grip. You grab a handful of gravity, swirl it about until that becomes a small black hole, and then blast that with the belief in Unicorns and Pixies that’s pouring off this little girl. It’s not a particularly elegant portal, but usually you’re only transporting something which doesn’t exist –you– and a tiny little tooth. She’s much bigger, and that much reality is hard to move smoothly. Better just use brute force.

You expect that she might hesitate at the swirling mass of colors, but she basically drags you through your own portal. Then you stare out at the great blackness lit only by the City Eternal and the thousand pin-pricks of light which have pierced the curtain.

“Are we in outer space?”

“Um. It is a space. And it’s outer to  . . . something.”

“Oooh, what’s that?”

You pull her away from the light of the City Eternal. If she’s surprised by your strength in this place, she doesn’t show it. She may simply not have noticed. “No, no. We’re going this way, to the toothpaste lake.”

“A lake made of toothpaste? Yuck!”

She is not wrong. It’s especially disgusting given that the lake is made up of toothpaste that’s been spat out by millions of children over the years. You set her down at the rocky shores and cover your nose against the unappealingly minty breeze.

She does not hide her distaste. “Why are we here?”

“You wanted to see what we do with your teeth. We use them to keep what’s in the lake happy.”

“What’s in the lake?”

You point at what it is. When the huge mass crests over top of the surface of the lake, you can barely repress a shudder.

What do you choose?

 

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Saturday because I’ll be updating the poll on Sunday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Wednesday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choice.

 

 

Trouble for the Tooth Fairy – Chapter 1

She looked like such a cute little girl. You had no idea she was such a light sleeper.

“Please. Let me go. You can have more money for the tooth. You can take everything I have on me, just let me go.”

The girl does not release her tight grip around your chest. If anything it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Her fist has you completely covered from wingtip to the bottom of your ankles.

“What do you want it for?”

“What?”

She shakes you impatiently. “The tooth! I know you give kids money for their teeth, but what do you do with the teeth? Nobody in my class knew.”

You swallow as hard as you can with the pressure around your chest. “We never speak of it.”

She stares at you with eyes that seem far more dangerous than a six-year-old should be able to have.

“Tonight, you will.”

“But . . . But you don’t understand. I can’t. No please don’t shake me again.” You whisper. There’s no way the agents of Emperor Enamel could hear you, but if they did . . . “I’m under an enchantment. It’s impossible for me to tell you.”

“If you don’t tell me what you do with them, you can’t have my tooth.”

“No!” If there was anything worse than telling the girl, it would be not bringing the tooth back. “I’ll . . . I’ll think of something.”

What do you choose?

——— Wait, so what do I do now?

You will notice two TBD slots on the poll. These are meant to be filled out by YOU.

If you have a suggestion for another path the Tooth Fairy should take, please comment on this site, or send it to our Facebook page. (Like us while there if you don’t already, please and thank you.) Get your suggestions in by Saturday because I’ll be updating the poll on Sunday with your suggestions.

You may vote now (though I ask that you not vote for a TBD until it no longer says TBD). If you’d prefer to wait until all the options are up on the poll, feel free, but get your votes in before next Wednesday when a winner will be chosen, and a new Chapter will be posted.

So make your choices.

Time to choose a new story

I know you folks probably get frustrated with me when I go on these long breaks. I’m working hard on the sequel to Sidekick Academy: The School Secret, and I’m rehearsing a play at the moment. These things are sucking up a lot of my time, but those are my problems, not yours. You deserve some choices so we can get back to telling a story together.

Remember, choosing the story is always a somewhat longer process than picking the next chapter. A little bit of delay will also get me to a place where my schedule opens up a bit. Therefore, our new story is going to start on AUGUST 2nd. You have the rest of the month to get your votes in, and to corral your friends and family into voting your way.


You struggle against the rope, but the old man in front of you shakes his head. “You’re not all that strong, pet. Fast, sure, faster than the wind. And if that were a magic rope, I daresay you’d be out already. But it’s not. Just a plain old honest rope. An ox might snap it, but you’re not near as strong as an ox. You might as well quit wiggling.” He looks deeply into one of your eyes. “Is it true, then, that a Unicorn can talk?”

“It is,” you say reluctantly.

“And is it true that when they do speak, a unicorn can tell no lies?”

“Absolutely.”

“Liar.” He laughs. “So now I think we understand each other. Neither of us is a fool. I don’t relish holding you captive. No good to come of that, but I do have need of you. I understand that a unicorn can grant a man a wish, but I need you to tell me how it really works.”

You stare at the rope and realize the truth. He’s not letting you go until he gets his wish. “It’s not as simple as a wish coming true, you know. It’s more complicated than that.”

“You mean like a man might wish for a castle, but what he might find is a piece of gold in a stream, and if he worked hard for a while to dig and set up a mine, he might one day find enough gold to buy that castle, eh?”

You dip your head.

“Well that sounds about right then. I know what I need to wish for. And you’re staying with me till my wish comes true.

====================================

You stare at the pile of books in front of you. It’s not fair that Mr. Kennedy said you weren’t allowed to read any more mysteries for your book report. Just because your last four were mysteries doesn’t mean you can’t do another one. Reluctantly, you choose two action/adventure books. They might not be terrible, but you have your preferences.

“Wasn’t there a place to put the fines?” A man stands in front of you in line with a dollar bill in his hand. The library rarely charges more than a few cents, but often people put a full dollar or two into the canister that serves to collect fines and donations at the same time.

“There was, but someone stole it yesterday.” The librarian takes the dollar, asks the man if he needs change, and smiles when he declines. She puts the dollar bill into a drawer behind the desk.

You hand the librarian your books and your card as you’re next in line. “No one saw them take the canister? No video tapes or anything?”

“No dear. We can barely afford the library as it is, much less with added security.” She stamps your books and hands them back to you with a smile.

Your smile matches hers. As soon as you get home you’re going to place a call to your best friends, Ash and Cogs.

Who needs a mystery novel? It’s time for the Pepperoni and Cheese Detective Agency to solve a case!

====================================

“The radio is completely dead?”

The captain nods at you. “We tried replacing the antenna we lost, but it looks like the lightning strike fried most of the actual working parts of the radio. It’s not much more than ballast at this point.”

“And no cell service, I imagine?”

“None to speak of, no. Though I’d keep checking from time to time.”

“So we have no idea where we are?”

“That’s an interesting question. I know where we are supposed to be based on our latitude and longitude. That equipment isn’t damaged at all so far as I can tell. But that island . . .” He points to the small mountain covered in greenery that’s only a mile away from the bow of the ship. ” . . . shouldn’t be anywhere near those coordinates.”

“What does that mean?”

“There are three possibilities I can see for that Island — and with the amount of fuel we have left, it’s either land there or drift in the ocean, by the way. The first possibility is that our equipment was damaged, and that island isn’t where we think we are. The second possibility is that the physical charts I have don’t show that island. Neither of those possibilities strike me as all that likely.”

“So what’s the third possibility?”

“Someone wanted that island not to appear on any charts. Looks like we’re about to find out why.”

====================================

She looked like such a cute little girl. You had no idea she was such a light sleeper.

“Please. Let me go. You can have more money for the tooth. You can take everything I have on me, just let me go.”

The girl does not release her tight grip around your chest. If anything it becomes harder and harder to breathe. Her fist has you completely covered from wingtip to the bottom of your ankles.

“What do you want it for?”

“What?”

She shakes you impatiently. “The tooth! I know you give kids money for their teeth, but what do you do with the teeth? Nobody in my class knew.”

You swallow as hard as you can with the pressure around your chest. “We never speak of it.”

She stares at you with eyes that seem far more dangerous than a six-year-old should be able to have.

“Tonight, you will.”

====================================

Time to vote, you Choosy Geeks!

What do you choose?

A Bother for the Butler – Chapter 12

You can read the story so far here:

“Now, Alice. No need to do anything rash.”

“Need is a strong word, Jesper. I very much want to do this.”

“You are surrounded by quite a number of people. You’ll never get away.”

“No, but this way I can shoot her and you. first I’ve never liked you, Jesper.”

“Well, there’s no need to be rude about it.”

So saying, you toss the vial of poison into the air. While her eyes are watching it, you knock the gun out of her hand with a lightning quick chop taught to you when you became a Third Level Butler. Butle-Fu is a secret known only to the Ancient Order of the Serving Tray.

She shouts in pain, and you follow up with a kick to her instep, then reach out for a nerve pinch sure to knock her unconscious. She catches your hand and twists harshly, locking your elbow in a painful distention.

“Your technique is good, but I am an Eighth Level master of Maid-Jitsu.”

She delivers a kick to your chest, which sends you across the room to the screams of the guests. You collide with the wall and allow yourself an un-butlery grunt, just this once. Alice scrambles to pick up her pistol again.”

“Everything all right, sir?” Gregor, the under-butler has kept his composure. Good show on his part.

“Serving tray, if you please.”

“Of course, sir.” He hands it to you just a second before Alice fires the first shot.

Everyone expected the “Bang”, but they seem confused by the multiple “tings” and “karooms” which follow it. Too late, Alice realizes what’s happening. She falls to the ground, dropping the gun and clutching at her wounded leg.

“I saw you ricochet it off the tray, the statuette, the ashtray and the copper coffee pot, but what was the last bounce, sir?”

“Dr. Harrowholster’s pinky ring.”

“I daresay that’s not normally an advisable option, is it sir? They don’t teach that at the academy.”

“Any port in a storm, Gregor. Excuse me.” You hop to your feet and smoothly bring the serving tray down on Alice’s head with a satisfying “thud.”

“I daresay, Jesper. Good show and all that!” Lord Hassenpfeffer seems genuinely pleased for the first time since . . . well you don’t have a calendar going back that far. “What did we say, old fellow double your salary? Let’s make that triple. You’ve certainly earned it.”

“I think I can do better than that, Lord Hassenpfeffer.” Lady Bugerbury smiles her lovely smile at you. “You see, he just saved my life, and since I am a widow now, a very wealthy widow, I feel I might be able to help Jesper to a rather better circumstance.”

“A charming offer, ma’am. And if you would care to repeat it when you are once again sober, I would be very interested indeed. For now though, please excuse me.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to get Gregor a new serving tray.”

The End